


I'm Sorry

by Nihonkikuasa211



Category: Code Black (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Gen, Spoilers, Tag to 2x05, Vulnerable Mario
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 20:23:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8461723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nihonkikuasa211/pseuds/Nihonkikuasa211
Summary: I'm sorry was the only word that Angus could repeat in his head. But it wasn't enough. As Angus holds Mario in his arms, the resident thinks about how his friend has helped him throughout the weeks, and what did he do?Nothing.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I cried so much during the hugging scene. Was I the only one?

_I'm Sorry_

_I’m sorry_. The words kept repeating in Angus’ mind as he held the sobbing man in his arms. _I’m sorry._ The repeated words weren’t enough. Nothing…was enough.

 _“I’m okay…”_ Mario had kept on repeating. Perhaps telling himself that he had not felt it when his father had died. Angus heard him. But it wasn’t enough.

 _I should have been there._ The thought came almost immediately when he heard about what had happened from Noa’s lips. Her eyes, blue and too haunted by death already, were worried and confused on what to do. _“I tried to…make him some coffee, but he didn’t want any.”_ Angus’ first thought of where his friend was; he could see that Mama and Malaya were looking concerned, and trying their best not to worry as the second-year resident was not in the human traffic of the ER. According to the aged senior nurse, Mario had taken the gurney with his father’s body and had taken the body to the morgue. Besides Noa, Mario hadn’t been seen by anyone since then.

Angus couldn’t understand of how this could be happening. Charlotte had died two weeks before, and now Mario’s father died. Charlotte…it still hurt thinking of her name. The first-year resident had been well-liked by the staff, and good with her patients. It was not fair that she died the way that she did.

 But who would describe that the way Vincent Savetti died was anything but normal?

 Angus didn’t know much. He only knew that Mario’s father was more of an asshole than his own father, and that was saying something. From his charts, Angus had seen tell-tale signs of alcoholism and drug addiction. He hadn’t been proud that his son was now clean from the drugs he had been addicted to in the past, and that he was now a doctor practicing emergency medicine.

It was hard. Seeing Mario like this. Angus could see him standing beside his father’s corpse, his mouth moving, forming words that he didn’t know he could possibly be saying. For a moment, Angus wanted to tell Mario that it would be okay. But it wasn’t.

He opened the door, hearing Mario’s voice echo across the empty room. Angus, so immune to anything except his selfish pain, could feel the ever pulse of Mario’s agony and pain with every breath he took. His single voice told Angus of the agony the dark-haired resident was feeling.

I’m okay. Angus felt the touch of Mario’s hand brushing his arm away from his shoulder. It brushed, not like the calming touches Mario had given him the past few moths. He had asked to Angus how long he had been standing there. Again, trying to talk to his estranged father as his voice weakened. I’m okay. A moment of pure guilt assaulted Angus then.

 What had he done?

In the months since Mike’s fall, his entire existence had been shaped by self-pity and indulgence of believing that he, Angus Leighton, was the one who mattered. He didn’t even pay attention to how Mike’s condition was affecting other people. Angus didn’t _get_ the care and attention that Mario was sparing him. _Every time I doubted, he was right by my side, ready to pick me up._ Mario was the one who told him that he had to do the procedure that had ended up working when everyone, including himself, doubted. Angus could still remember of how Mario almost pulled him away from Mike’s bedside when it appeared that the procedure wasn’t going to work.

Mario the one who kept on encouraging him about Mike’s progress. When people – rightly – got tired of Angus’ attitude, Mario was the one who put up with him. It was as if their positions were the opposite now.

Before, Angus had been the kind one. Mario, the asshole who cared for nothing but himself.

And even before Mike fell, Mario was just one phone call away. He was the one who called when Angus felt that he couldn’t take much more.

Every ounce of pain that Mario was feeling burned in Angus’ heart. Mario had tried to hide his pain, almost fighting Angus as his friend attempted to clasp a hand on his shoulder. But the agony was too much. Angus could see the signs of the mask slipping, of the bright eyes and rasping of breath. It hurt so much when Angus felt Mario’s sobs as he cried…at first on his shoulder, then his head burrowed in Angus’ chest. Every cry and sob that escaped from Mario’s lips was more than agony. Physical pain tore through Angus’ chest as Mario’s sobs echoed through the vacant room.

It felt as if the pain that Mario was experiencing was one thousand times worse to Angus.

 _"I’m okay…"_ Mario had tried to say.

Now he was only capable of sobbing in Angus’ arms.

No, Angus thought. His heart lurched, and he resisted the urge to pull Mario closer. No. You’re not okay.

A bubble of intense emotion almost leaked out by the tears wanting to come out of his eyes at the thought that he hadn’t been there when he should have been when Mario’s father had died. _He_ should have made the call. _He_ should have been the one to make Mario coffee…

 _I’m sorry_ , Angus thought. It seemed to be the only thought he was capable of.

_I’m sorry._


End file.
